The topic of aging comes up again and again in our society. And it’s been very prevalent in my circle the last few weeks.
The Golden Bachelor has been airing (The Bachelor but with everyone in their 60’s-70’s).
Miley Cyrus’s song “Used to Be Young” has been getting radio play.
My husband is a little panicked over turning 30.
Aging is unavoidable unless the unthinkable happens. We should all be so grateful to age and yet we try to avoid it as hard as we can.
Cosmetic procedures are on the rise. Filters and Facetune are incredibly popular for any posted-to-social photo. Our obsession with youth is unhealthy and quite frankly, very misplaced.
Today, I wanted to explore this topic through what I just listed above: the things in pop culture and my own personal world and how they relate to aging.
The Golden Bachelor
This is one of the most wholesome reality tv shows I’ve ever seen. The bachelor, Gerry, is looking for love after losing his wife to a bacterial infection that escalated. His backstory is basically the opening to the movie Up. It gets me every time.
And Gerry is such a kind hearted person! At least from what we’ve seen. He’s so caring, is always looking out for all of them women, and knows what he wants.
The cast of women is also phenomenal. It’s amazing to see women in their 60’s and 70’s so sure of themselves, still active and able, and ready to have fun and find love.
Of course, age isn’t just a number and there are very real issues they face. Gerry and some of his cast have bonded over both needing hearing aids, aches and pains, and not understanding all the new young lingo (same guys, same).
One of my favorite moments was watching Gerry and one of the contestants, Sandra, attempt to call her daughter over FaceTime. This is exactly what I thought a 70-year-old using a phone would be like. It was light hearted and adorable and they did get the call to go through!!
But overall, what this show has really opened my eyes to is that if we take care of ourselves, keep being open to life, and aren’t afraid to let people in, we can have long, happy lives.
And obviously fate has a way of stepping in and changing our paths, so it’s not foolproof, but we have some control over where we end up.
If you’re a reality tv person and have never watched The Bachelor but want something low key, highly recommend this show. I say “awww” at least once a minute and have cried both from tragic stories but also from laughing so hard.
“Used to Be Young”
Watching a bunch of of older people fall in love on The Golden Bachelor compared to a 30-year-old artist sing about how she “used to be young” is quite the difference.
Miley - YOU’RE STILL YOUNG! At least in my opinion.
And maybe there is a difference as she was a child star and society likes to push women out the second they’re out of their 20’s. But that seems to have been changing a little bit recently.
The chorus to this song, if you haven’t heard it, starts out with these lines:
I know I used to be crazy
I know I used to be fun
You say I used to be wild
I say I used to be young
And it just makes me kind of sad.
Yes, we all saw Miley twerk on Robin Thicke at the VMAs or whatever award show it was. She’s not that kind of crazy anymore.
But so what?
That doesn’t mean she isn’t still young. And plenty of older people can be “crazy” like that, too. Age doesn’t define our personalities completely.
And for the record, I completely understand what she’s getting at in this song. And if it’s how she feels, who am I to judge? But it just makes me sad every time I hear it that in our society we make people feel this way.
I will say though, this part of the last chorus saves the song a little for me. I get this sentiment and it makes me smile:
I know I used to be crazy
Messed up, but, God, was it fun
I know I used to be wild
That's 'cause I used to be youngThose wasted nights are not wasted
I remember every one
So while, in my opinion, Miley is still young, she isn’t the same kind of “young” she once was and that’s okay.
This song is also so interesting contrasted to Selena Gomez’s new song “Single Soon.”
Now, I think Selena meant to release this song years ago when she was younger, but she still released it now!
Selena and Miley are about the same age and it’s so interesting to me that one says they “used to be young” while the other says “blame it on feeling young.”
And your early 30’s are still young. I don’t know where the notion that once you’re not in your 20’s you’re old came from.
And I say that as someone in my 20’s! Even though I simultaneously feel too young and irresponsible to own a house or run a business and too old to fit in with anything in society (what is with all the Gen Z lingo? Rizz?? Come on, y’all, do you hear yourselves?), I know I’m an adult but still young.
But I am excited to turn 30 and maybe more people will take me seriously. Or maybe getting rid of my blue hair would help with that, too… But I’m not changing for a society that doesn’t understand fun.
I don’t really know how to wrap this up.
I’m used to writing research-based pieces for my biz and stream of conscious kind of stuff here, and this post a foot in both worlds but is really neither. So here’s my haphazard thoughts!
I think we talk about aging so weirdly as a society. It’s both a societal and personal concept to think about and consider. And 30 might feel old to some and super young to others. Age is in the eye of the beholder.
But what I’ve been trying to do lately is to live life how I want to right now and not think about age or anything else. And I think that’s what I’m trying to get to the heart of.
Some 30-year-olds are probably not living as hard as the 65-year-olds on The Golden Bachelor. And some might be going as hard as those in their early 20’s. Both are okay, age is in some ways just a number and “act your age” is just a phrase people use to keep other’s fun down.
Overall, I don’t think I fear aging. I fear not taking care of myself well enough to not enjoy my older ages. Or fear something random happening that will change the course of my life.
One of those things is in my control and I’ve been trying really hard to focus on it. To eat well, exercise, stretch, read, and do things I enjoy. For me, I feel like that will set me up for success. And it’s definitely hard when life gets in the way!
But I really do think age doesn’t define you as much as society would like it to. You’re not old when you turn 30. And your best days may not even be behind you when you turn 60.
We should all be thankful when we hit 60, 70, or 80 though. Because not everyone gets that chance and time is our most precious possession.
Thank you so much for reading In the Clouds! This is a personal outlet I created to nurture my own creativity and to connect with other artsy people out in the world.
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Kudos to you on touching on this! Older people 'feel' the same people, but we're still here, a bit!