I Know Places (Braxty's Version)
Parodying Taylor Swift's I Know Places to be about my dog instead.
In case you live under a rock, and if you do I don’t know how you found this Substack but, hi! Great to have you here! What kinda rock do you live under?
Anyway, if you do live under a rock you might not have heard that 1989 (Taylor’s Version) came out last Friday!! And she’s also a billionaire but that’s uhhh not what I’m touching on today at all or maybe ever.
To be on trend for once in my life I thought what a perfect time to share another parody song I’ve written about my dog. And this time to I Know Places.
A little backstory to this parody: our dog, Braxton, is afraid of flies. He genuinely does not like them and will hide under the bed, the kitchen table, an end table, the coffee table. One time outside, he panicked and hid under one of our chairs.
The boy doesn’t like flies.
I have absolutely no clue why. He’ll try to fight a buck in our backyard or a bison at the zoo but one look at a fly and he runs for the hills.
He’s an odd pup.
And so one day, I woke up with I Know Places stuck in my head and the parody came pouring out of me to turn it into a song that shows Braxton’s panicking thoughts as he spots a fly in conversation with my attempts to calm him down.
I present to you…
I Know Places (Braxty’s Version)
Oh oh oh I, a-a-a fly
Oh oh oh I, a-a-a fly
Oh oh oh I, a-a-a fly fly fly
You stand with your fly swatter in hand
It's insane that it flies here on our land
I can hear it buzzing as it flies by
It's a bad sign, bad sign
Something happens when eventually it lands
See it scheming by the move of its hands
I don't wanna be the pawn in its dark plans, in its dark plans
They got the evil they got the high skies, so I'm gone
They are so little but they got big eyes, help me mom
Braxty, I know places you won't be found
And they'll be cozy enough that you won't come out
A fly, I know places we can hide
I know places, I know places
Wings flap and I run under the bed
They can land where they want not on my head
Those flies in the skies they terrorize
Not this time
Please grab my food and make sure I'm well fed, as I hide
It is so cozy here under the bed, with no flies
Braxty, I know places you won't be found
And they'll be cozy enough that you won't come out
A fly, I know places we can hide
I know places
They got the evil they got the high skies, so I'm gone
They are so little but they got big eyes, help me mom
Braxty, I know places you won't be found
And they'll be cozy enough that you won't come out
A fly, I know places we can hide
I know places
They fly our way, but we know their plans
I know places
And you know I'm safe, before it lands
I know places
Under the bed, is where I'll be
I know places
And I know you'll fight to protect me
I know places
Oh oh oh I, a-a-a fly
Oh oh oh I, a-a-a fly
Oh oh oh I, a-a-a fly fly fly
And there you have it! Our dog’s fear of flies in a Taylor Swift parody.
Fun fact: the first line I wrote was “Those flies in the skies they terrorize” and it might be the line I’m most proud of to date.
Does your pet have any odd fears? Or are they a brave one out there with everything they come in contact with?
Thank you so much for reading In the Clouds! This is a personal outlet I created to nurture my own creativity and to connect with other artsy people out in the world.
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