Hi there. It’s been a bit since I’ve poked my face out of these clouds. I’m just feeling a little lost and adrift here since the new year. Or maybe since the fall. I’m not really sure.
I used to have ideas flowing right out of me. To the point where I was posting here 3x a week because I just had SO MUCH to share. But the opposite has been true lately.
Winter is settling in. Snow is finally falling outside. And sticking!! Every other snow shower has melted within the day which is downright weird for this time of year in Wisconsin. I desperately want to go snow shoeing and sledding and for night walks in the snowy neighborhood so I am thrilled it’s finally feeling like winter!
But with winter, and the chaos that has been life, I’ve been slowing down and I just haven’t been creating as much. Which is okay, I’m embracing it and adjusting as needed. But with that, a posting schedule has felt more like a prison than accountability. So I’m going with the flow and there will be no posting schedule going forward.
Clouds don’t arrive on a schedule and neither do I. Welcome to the chaos.
No but seriously that’s not why I’m writing this. I’m really just trying to get my thoughts out and this space feels like the home to do that in.
I think the other thing holding me back from this space is I put a lot of pressure on it. See, by day I’m a designer. So half my job is to create but my other half is to rationalize the things I create - to explain the deeper meanings and explain how and why it will work with a target audience.
And I think my designer brain has carried into this space. I just felt compelled to share everything behind a creation. And maybe that’s not the right direction for this space. I enjoy some of the double or triple meanings of my work. Or some of the fun stories behind them. But maybe I don’t need to explain it to the world and it’s okay if not everyone gets every little thing.
Maybe I’m obsessed with explaining myself because I’ve felt so misunderstood through a lot of my life.
Maybe I feel the need to show the truth behind every detail so I don’t come across as shallow.
Maybe I feel the compulsion to call myself overdramatic before anyone else gets the chance to as I’ve always been told I’m too emotional.
But maybe I can just exist here. I can post my art or my poetry or whatever and I can just leave it at that. I don’t need to try to get approval.
Subscribers will come and go but that number or even the amount of engagement does not prove the value of my creations.
If I value it, that’s all that matters.
Even if it’s cringey or dramatic or childish or complainy or any other negatively connotated word people sling at me for whatever reason.
Anyway, this is me giving myself permission to try things and to show up inconsistently and in different ways.
I can’t tell you what to expect in the coming months other than clouds will form and clouds will pass. Sometimes they’ll bring rain and other times they’ll spark joy because they look like a bunny.
But I’m going to try to be here in some capacity for myself in whatever way I need at the time.
I hope your year is off to a great start! 💙
Thank you so much for reading In the Clouds! This is a personal outlet I created to nurture my own creativity and to connect with other artsy people out in the world.
If you enjoyed reading this entry, I’d love if you subscribed and dropped a comment below to say hi. All are welcome in this billow <3
How funny would that be while cloud gazing, if that fluffy thing paused, did a 90 degree and shot off toward . . .somewhere else! Clouds 'get to' meander! Don't think you're doin a darn thing wrong. ☁️ and snow is sticking, there you go!